Beauty Will Rise

Well, today is Janie's birthday! That's a significant date, and I hear that significant dates are supposed to be tough to get through when you've lost someone. And....yup, it's tough! I just feel a little weird and can't put my finger on it any better than that. How strange to have Janie's birthday come along without her! We will be eating cupcakes in her honor....if you feel inclined, you can go off that diet for a few hours and eat a cupcake too....make 'em fun and make 'em extra sugary...and stick one of those pumpkin-shaped sugary-buttery things from Brach's and maybe a few candy corns on it....that's how she'd eat it.

Need a little 'Janie fix' to get you through? This should do the trick....it was part of my remarks at her Memorial Service back in May:

Your digital clock reads 10:11 twice a day. That happens to be her birthday as well, 10/11. So Janie of course christened those two times of day, “The Magical Time.” “Look!” she’d say, pointing to the clock, “It’s the Magical Time! Make a wish!”

She got all of us noticing that time and we were well trained to point it out if we saw it. 

Did you ever realize, those of you who knew her, that you really didn't know that much about Janie? Why is that? Because she always was more interested in hearing about other people, and not in talking about herself. So in the true spirit of what Janie was really like, I'd like to talk about someone else instead of her for a bit here on her birthday. She'd be real keen (yup, I just said 'keen') on this since it is someone who was near and dear to her heart. I want to just briefly talk about Mary Beth Chapman.

Mary Beth Chapman, if you haven't heard of her, is the wife of Christian singer Steven Curtis Chapman. They lost their youngest (only five years old) daughter in an awful car accident in their own front yard in May of 2008. The news was crushing to Janie (and me) in light of Janie's own situation, as well as the fact that a buddy of our own Becca had been killed in a car crash (I wrote about her here) just three days prior to the Chapmans losing little Maria. Janie closely followed their story on their blogs in the days after their tragedy. It was a little surreal as their story and our friends' story unfolded at the very same time. It felt like the whole world was turned on it's head and everything was going wrong. It was scary too. Like if Janie wasn't immune, and our friends the Besaws weren't immune, and even the Christian mega-star with the influential ministry wasn't immune, well, then no one is immune. And that does seem to be the case, doesn't it? No one - not the Booths, not the Besaws, not the Chapmans - no one gets to be so blessed by God that they get special protection from pain.It just doesn't work like that, Joel Osteen.

What we saw in the Chapmans (and the Besaws for that matter) back in 2008 was a family that was committed to sticking together and sticking with God as they went through their personal hell of loss. Janie & I watched them closely, because, in an unspoken kind of way, we knew something like this was ahead for us, albeit in a slower, less sudden way. I think also that the mother's heart in Janie just plain broke for Mary Beth; who can survive the death of a five-year-old? 

So Mary Beth has written a book called Choosing to See. It walks you right through their awful story - of surviving the death of a five-year-old. I'm not reviewing the book here...I just wanted to point it out to you and warmly recommend it. I know some would say, "why read such sad stories? What good does it do? It just makes me feel sad and there's enough sadness in the world already." Well, I respectfully disagree. There's been healing in reading it for me. Mary Beth's book, though in story format, is instructive and, in it's own way, touches on deep theological concepts, especially the sovereignty of God, in a way that connects with the average person. Besides, the bible itself is chock-full of some pretty awful stories that we can and should benefit from.

Plus, crying feels good.

A friend gave me Steve Curtis Chapman's latest cd, "Beauty Will Rise." If you haven't heard it yet, it's a collections of 'psalms' that he wrote about losing his daughter and they are profound and honest and raw and transparent and wonderful. The title track is fantastic and it's something that I need to be reminded of daily. 

Beauty Will Rise

It was the day the world went wrong
I screamed till my voice was gone
And watched through the tears
As everything came crashing down

Slowly panic turns to pain
As we awake to what remains
And sift through the ashes that are left behind
But buried deep beneath
All our broken dreams
We have this hope

Out of these ashes beauty will rise
We will dance among the ruins
We will see it with our own eyes
Out of these ashes beauty will rise
For we know joy is coming in the morning
In the morning beauty will rise

So take another breath for now
Let the tears come washing down
If you can't believe, I will believe for you
'Cause I have seen the signs of spring
Just watch and see

Out of these ashes beauty will rise
We will dance among the ruins
We will see it with our own eyes
Out of these ashes beauty will rise
For we know joy is coming in the morning
In the morning

I can hear it in the distance
And its not too far away
Its the music and the laughter
Of a wedding and a feast
I can almost feel the hand of God
Reaching for my face
To wipe the tears away
Say its time to make everything new
Make it all new

This is our hope
This is a promise
This is our hope
This is a promise
It will take our breath away
To see the beauty that's been made
Out of the ashes, out of the ashes
It will take our breath away
To see the beauty that He's made
Out of these ashes, out of these ashes

Out of these ashes beauty will rise
We will dance among the ruins
We will see it with our own eyes
Out of this darkness new light will shine
And we'll know the joy that's coming in the morning
In the morning beauty will rise
Oh beauty will rise
Beauty will rise


Anyway, special thanks to those of you who are still remembering the Booths before the Father. You are a blessing to us...much the same way that Janie was a blessing to you I'm sure. 


Oh look! It's 10:11 on 10/11! A Very Magical Time! Make a wish!